The Shortest Distance

During my career, I have often been the recipient of triangulation. A concern about me would travel behind my back to uninvolved third parties, emails, and conference calls. I would regularly receive smiles from the source accompanied by silence regarding any concern. As time progressed, I would eventually receive notice of the concern, now distorted after being well-traveled without context.

As a result, I was left with the dilemma of whether to confront the source or ignore it and continue working.

This triangulation leaves the target confused, the bystanders exhausted, and the source with unresolved tension. No one wins.

In this situation, I reflect on our geometry learning that the shortest distance between two points is a line, never a triangle. Likewise, in communication, I prefer to stick to a simple one-dimensional approach. 🤓 The fewer people involved, the greater the opportunity to establish a safe environment for respect and understanding.

Direct interpersonal conversation takes courage, emotional intelligence, and maturity. It is a form of respect to let someone know they are worthy to hear your truth and you are willing to hear theirs.

This week, start practicing some new habits to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of communication in your teams.

✅ Ask for permission to enter a conversation for a common goal of understanding and improved working conditions. This helps establish a non-reactive and safe environment if both sides are focused on a common goal.

✅ Start with the facts and leave out any judgment, assumptions, or perspectives. State an observation and explain what that observation made you feel.

✅ Practice Covey's Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood ®. The more you learn, the more complete your perspective will be, and the better your response will be accepted. This encourages a seamless commitment from both sides for improved change.

Sometimes, people won't be open. That is OK. The key is for you to demonstrate the courage to know your feelings and role model the communication. In the end, you will always feel better speaking to the person, rather than about them.

If you are ever pulled into gossip, redirect the conversation with courage and care. If you are the target, invite the conversation with calm strength. Teams will always excel when there is an environment of safety, candor, and respect.

Love creates the safety. Service seeks understanding. Action drives resolution.

Have a one-dimensional week, my friends! Choose the shortest distance for effectiveness, interpersonal growth, and improved connections! 🤝 💛

© Nuri Dimler 2025