You Lose Height When You Backbite

"Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people." — Socrates

Backbiting is one of the most deceptive self-inflicted wounds. It feels like an easy release, a casual conversation, or even justified criticism—but in reality, it’s an act of self-sabotage. When you speak ill of others behind their backs, you don’t just chip away at their reputation—you carve away at your own integrity.

"Backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul." — Baháʼu'lláh

Every time you engage in backbiting, you reveal more about yourself than the person you’re discussing. It signals insecurity, unresolved resentment, and an unwillingness to address issues head-on. Real strength lies in confrontation with purpose, not whispers in the dark.

Words are energy, and energy doesn’t disappear. What you put out into the world finds its way back. The negativity you spread will eventually boomerang, whether through lost trust, damaged credibility, or an environment where you too become the subject of gossip.

"Funny thing about talking behind my back is that it just keep coming back to me." — Big Sean (Blessings)

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen people I haven’t spoken to in years, only to be greeted with fake smiles—smiles they assume will mask the things they’ve said behind my back. The irony? They don’t realize I already know. I’ve heard the whispers, the slander, the false narratives. Yet when they see me, they perform, pretending none of it ever happened. And I let them.

I refuse to carry their weight. Their words are their burden, not mine. Why waste energy confronting lies when my actions can speak louder? Besides, nobody watches you harder than the people who doubted you. You might as well give them a good show.

Trust is fragile—once broken, it rarely returns to its original form. If people see you as someone who tears down others behind closed doors, they’ll never trust you fully, no matter how friendly you seem.

"Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you." — Spanish Proverb

The world already has enough false narratives—digitally generated, emotionally charged, and socially fabricated. Why add to the illusion? Life is too short to be anything less than the greatness in which you were created.

Instead of engaging in backbiting, practice front-speaking—having real, candid conversations that build rather than erode. If you can’t say it directly, reconsider whether it needs to be said at all.

The energy you give is the energy that reflects. Keep yours high, your words honest, and your presence elevated.

Stay up and feel blessed.

Brené Brown, Clear is Kind: Read more

© Nuri Dimler 2025